I sit here now, nursing my almost 6-month-old, and I think about how far I’ve come.
Let me start by saying I’m not an easy patient. I’m in the medical field, and I’m a glass-half-empty kind of person when it comes to myself (but always half full for others). At the age of 28, I was diagnosed with unexplained, severely diminished ovarian reserve. My AMH was 0.26, and I was essentially menopausal. I had all the symptoms and never would have guessed that was the reason. To this day, I don’t know what caused it.
As soon as I found out, I raced for answers and was met with, “Oh, you’re so young, but you’ll probably need donor eggs.” That was not an option in my mind at the time.
Dr. S was the last doctor I met with and the only one to tell me I was a candidate for IVF. She was patient and gave the no-nonsense answers I needed to hear. She listened to my concerns and always answered my questions, no matter how many times I asked the same ones. She was honest, but also encouraging—she gave me the reality while still giving me hope. She told me it would be an uphill battle, but that she believed I could one day have a child with my eggs and my husband’s sperm. She was right—even though I didn’t believe her at the time.
Then came a year of one IUI, five egg retrievals, one failed retrieval, and a mock transfer. Every. Single. Cycle. I cried and had no hope. Every. Single. Cycle. Dr. S picked me up and said, “Keep going.” I saw her for every single visit. I needed that kind of hand holding and she was always there. You don’t get that at most clinics FYI.
By a miracle, in my first cycle, we made two genetically normal embryos from ONLY four eggs. From that point on, with each subsequent cycle, I could hear her voice: “You make beautiful embryos.” And I kept going—even when I wanted to quit after failed cycles.
She not only kept me going, but she was also willing to try new methods (you’ll have to ask her about that) to get every precious egg. At the end of six cycles, I came out with five genetically normal embryos. Even though I gave her a hard time with relentless questioning of her every move and countless tears, she made the impossible happen.
Now, don’t get me wrong—you still need to put in work on your end. Diet, acupuncture, and supplements all helped, but she is your meat and potatoes.
Then came the embryo transfer. Again: “Dr. S, there’s no way it’s going to take on the first try,” and more glass-half-empty thinking. And yet—despite all my doubts—I was pregnant on the first transfer.
When I got the call, as you’d expect, I didn’t believe her. To quote Dr. S, “It’s never taken me 12 minutes to convince someone they’re pregnant.” That should tell you the type of patient I was.
Needless to say, it was a lengthy journey—and one I didn’t make easy. I know this post is long, but I just want you to know that it’s possible. If you feel like you have no hope, just as I did, know that Dr. S can be your hope.
To Dr. S—thank you for believing in me and never giving up on me. I know I was a difficult patient, and I was rarely optimistic. It’s true that words are not enough to express the gratitude I have for you—for giving me the answer to my prayers. I believe God put you in my life to bring our greatest joy into the world. Thank you for what you do. See you soon for the next one.
GUYS, IT REALLY DOES TAKE ONE GOOD EGG. If it’s there, she will find it.
To anyone reading this—you’ve made the right choice.
